Grace is a miracle.

a miracle tat was a privilege extended, then taken back, n now FULLY GIVEN to us.

a miracle tat is now so much ours, thou we sometimes choose to run away from it.

a miracle tat requires nothing to initiate, but faith.

a miracle tat took all of Him, n now it takes none of us.


5, n 15. five n fifteen.
these 2 r miracle numbers to me. might sound ridiculous to you guys, but i seriously pray tat NO ONE ever goes thru wat i went thru for e past 27 hours. it was torture, torment, cruelty, every bad noun u can put there, tat was for tat 27 hours. it was excruxiating. n thru out tis time, i wanted to do one thing, run away from Him. i tried even to take my life, since He 'lied' anyway, it would mean tat tis life have no meaning either. no use keeping it.

but wat an intricate lie e devil weaved. wat shrewdness n craft he created. tat little #@*&#*@&#*&#@^*@#&^#@&@*#!&@^!*&. (sensored due to seriousness of profanity.) if he ever lands in my hands... trust me, i'll be more wrathful than God. grrr...

but God is e God is turn around. And He did it with finesse.

With songs, with car number plates, with calls n smss, with prayers(HOLY COMMUNION SOMEMORE!!!), with hugs n pats, with whispers n declarations of love. He surpassed tat circumstance of drear n hopelessness, n gave me new life.

thanx to all those who gave me words of comfort, Ashley, Jonathan(ur pat meant a lot), Annie!!(you are growing from glory to glory. :) ), n last but not least - Sean. my dear dear brudder Sean. God realli meant u to be in my life at tis particular time. n i pray tat it wun stop here. You are tat dear to me. :) Thanx for all e times tat u choose to listen, thou u could have very much just punched me in e face(i would have!!), e times u spoke such words into my life, such Godly advice u gave, such love tat u showed to me. thanx brudder!!!! hallelujah!!!! n i'm not afraid to say tis - I LOVE YOU!!! in a brudderly way tat is... *thinks summersturm... shudders...

n lastly but definitely not e least(in fact very much e opposite), my Daddy. You know wat i said n wat i'm gg to say. You know wat i was gg to do n wat i'm gg to do. You know me as i was, n me as i am, n me as i'm gg to be. n You know everything abt me, even more than myself. i can't totally understand You, but one thing i'm sure of is Your love, n tat i hold on to. Your one seemingly broken promise, thou unclear to me now, doesn't matter. Your love doesn't diminish becos of tat, Your grace doesn't disappear becos of tat. You are still You. e Maker of e universe.
MY universe. in Your love i trust. *muacks!!!!

shalom. I Am shalom. :)