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John 3:27
27 : John answered, "A man can receive nothing [he can claim nothing, he can take unto himself nothing] except as it has been granted to him from heaven. [A man must be content to receive the gift which is given him from heaven; there is no other source.]
was feeling rather down due to e fact tat i wasn't selected for e mediacorp item(well, e human part of me took over, for a while. :p), i decided to take some time alone, as i knew tat i needed Him.
funny thing was, as much as i walked alone, i chose NOT to talk to Him, at first. somehow, i was convinced tat it was all HIS fault tat i wasn't selected. "why ain't i blessed?!?! why ain't i in e recording?!?! ahhh!!" i was realli pissed off, n i so wanted to rant n shout n fume.
got on e bus, still feeling rather pissed. "can't e leaders see?!?! thought they valued loyalty n faithfulness?!?! then wat abt me?!?! why r some ppl who were chosen for e mediacorp recording newer than me?!?! tat's not fair!!"
but somehow, e peace was still there, it still kept me buoyant. but grumpy old me... sigh. but well, decided to give up, cos if dun have, DUN HAVE LOR. wat can i do?? put myself in front of wendy n say "pick me!! pick me!!"?? no use wat.
somehow i thought to myself, just when i thought i was at e bottom of e pit... e trap door below opens n i'm falling again. so sianz. so useless. feel so... inadequate.
"Daddy... help."
simple 2 words. extraordinary results.
opened e front of my bag n saw my discman. it's totally out of batt, but somehow i just went to press e play button. hey, it worked!! oh well, let's listen then...
n e message was exactly wat i needed.
oh, another miracle. e discman, which was supposed to be out of batt, played on all e way till e CD ended, before it went out of batt. woohoo, how 'God' can God get??
e message, by e way, is tis - "God can fill you with what you dun have". (i was listening to disc 2.)
k, back to e verse e top. tat's e verse being preached in e CD tat i was listening. n i so so needed it. in fact, i think all christians need it.
many a times, christians think tat some OTHER christians r very blessed, n they start to feel a sense of inadequacy. they feel tat somehow, it's due to something tat they did NOT do, or did wrongly. n who can blame them?? cos if everyone is blessed, then why r those ppl, SEEMINGLY, more blessed??
thing is, we must realise tat we r AS blessed as them, if not MORE. cos God's love is personal, n wat is ours, cannot, n will NOT be given to anyone else. He has more than enuf in Heaven to give to every christian on earth his portion, n still have leftover. know tat ur portion is kept for u n u alone, be it spiritual, physical, mental, emotional, financial. n tat it's more than enuf for u to live a life tat's filled to e max.
also know tat e economy of God is tis, tat everything is received, n not achieved. it's not abt how much u do for e kingdom, but realising how much of e kingdom has been given to you. n wat's e kingdom of God?? righteousness, peace, joy. if u were in these 3 'status', u will realise tat u have a lot, a lot of things. cos think tis way - if u r righteous, becos of his work, left right up down front back, do u know wat do u 'deserve' from e stores of Heaven. whoa, dun start, cos u can't stop.
by knowing YOUR OWN position, u then dun need to worry n envy wat others hav. cos wat u hav, is exactly for wat u need. so dun worry. relak!!
to me, e mediacorp item WAS seemingly important. somehow, i felt tat i was not, 'acknowledged' when i wasn't selected. dun noe if anyone of u feel tat way sometimes. but anyway, when i think of wat God has called me to do, wat a huge responsiblity He has given unto me, i realise, hey, tis is so small!! like nearly insignificant. zero, naut, nil, zilt. totally imcomparable. n in fact, He's preparing me for e greater things to come, cos if i can't even handle myself for tis small little mediacorp item, then wat abt wat He has promised n prepared for me?!?! so yeah, i shall rest. everything in His time.
i'm thinking whether should i send tis to my choir leaders as well, cos realli feel tat i should, but well, i think tis will realli bless those in choir who r in e same situation, n think, like me. i think it's realli important tat we realise tat tis is realli something worth rejoicing abt, cos e church is reaching out to e whole of singapore thru e TV program!! so cool!! hallelujah!! may many many many many many many ppl be drawn to His glory!! amen!! *ppl, say amen!! yeah!! now it's done. wahahaha.
kk, back. anyway, know tat even thou e macro is important, how e kingdom moves n such... u, e micro is important to Him as well. we may not be selected, but know tat we r loved, n tat we ARE called to do wat we have been called to 'achieve' in our times while living on tis earth. since birth. read psalms 139, n see how loved u r. tat even God, who created e Heavens (ok, there's only a need for one heaven, but just for effect k?? :p) n e earth, is fearful n wonderful n for e awful wonder of ur birth!! He said FOR ur birth. He's FOR u. know tat when He created u, He has already prepared all e gifts n blessings tat He wanted to give u. tat's His system!! tat's why e whole earth n everything else was created first before Adam was brought to e earth. sidetracking a little - damn!! why was Adam made before Eve?!?! food for thought eh?? guys, it's time to treat gers better. we r supposed to bless them u know. tat's why we r supposed to do e chasing. dun worry, just wait till we get married... then e couple is 1 n tat's e time we get even, yeah?? :p k, think i'm gg to get stoned by some for tis. :p grace grace la... hee. k, i'm affected too much by ian... i'm starting to limb. :p k la, back to main topic. realli, see tat everything was created n provided for u e moment u were created. God has chosen u, out of e many in tis world, n He has put u into tis time, especially, cos He loves u so much tat He just wants to bless u. remember those ppl who lived in e dark ages. they r not as blessed as us. see where n when He has brought us to be. see who we are in Him n how we have been brought to light in regards to tat fact. rejoice, n delight in all tat He hath given to u, n all e desires of ur heart will be given u.
shalom
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