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Sunday, June 11, 2006
. anthony's cry...]
anthony's cry...well, as most of you would know already, i was fired by my boss from the previous job. not realli wanting to go much into why n how n e nitty gritty stuff, but just wanna thank God for the leaders and friends tat have stood by me. thank you all SOOOOOOOOO much. serious. thanks for e support n guidance, e help n e love. thank you so so so much.
well, have done a lot of thinking thru-out this period of rest, settled a lot of stuff internally within myself. emotional especially. somehow it just felt as if this choice was long coming... n tat i was procrastinating for e longest time ever. which i think i actually have. hahahaha. stupid anthony. :) but well, stupid is stupid, foolish is foolish... God is still God. He still wins. dun u love tat?? :) God still triumphs over stupid, foolish, stubborn old anthony.
:)
actually, in recent times, i have been struggling a lot. a lot. cos somehow, my walk with Him has been more n more... difficult?? i can't realli find e words to put it. i know He's good. i know He's able n trustworthy. but it's so frustrating seeing e circumstances around you staying stuck after u confess n pray n stand firm n believe n receive n etc etc etc...
cos it's a long long journey
till i feel tat i'm worth the price
tat You paid for me on Calvary
beneath those stormy skies
when satan mocks
when friends turn to foes
when everything is out to make me lose control
cos it's a long long journey
till i find my way home... to You
u know?? when u r giving up on something tat u know u shouldn't give up n yet u know u should give up?? well, right now i'm in tat situation. n yes i know i have to give up. cos it's taking too much of a toll. too much of a strife. too much... too much...
seriously, this post shouldn't even be out. this is NOT wat i wanted from e start. i wanted to blog abt darlene... n how blessed i feel abt how God made her come down all e way from Australia for me... but somehow... at this particular moment... emotions upstaging n coup is winning e battle...
it's ok.
they can win e battle. Jesus has won e war.
i will cheer still, i will shout for joy. i will rejoice n i will praise n worship still. tat's my choice. yes i'm stubborn. u may say tat i'm doing something stupid. well, *DOOD you. my God is big. n He will defend Himself n me. you wait n see.
*melancholy...
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